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Weight Shame Hurts Every Body

This is a shout-out to all the women and girls working on liking their bodies. This s— is hard.

Why? Because today’s perfectionist, weight biased body culture feeds our dissatisfaction.

It fuels poor body image by spreading the conventional “wisdom” that healthy equals thin and fat is bad.

“Diet culture leads most women to see themselves as ‘too big’ and makes it difficult for people in larger bodies to feel they don’t need to shrink themselves,” says Christy Harrison author of “Anti-Diet.”

It’s become normal for women and girls to obsessively count carbohydrate grams and to anxiously pursue 10,000 steps on their Fitbits, all to manipulate what we believe are our bad bodies.

And we’re doing this to become … healthier?

We believe we must avoid weight gain or lose weight — at any and all costs — if we want to be happy, loved and have a body that’s accepted by diet culture.

“I truly believe that for the vast majority of the population, managing or losing weight is not about health but about a fear of not being accepted by others,” says body acceptance coach Kristina Bruce.

“A much bigger health concern we have on hand here is the staggering number of people who feel shame about their bodies. The only time I don’t like how my body looks is when I fear what other people will think of it. This tells me once again — my body is not the problem.”

Agreed. Your body isn’t the problem.

The problem is we view our bodies through the lens of a $72 billion diet culture that stigmatizes weight.

Harrison explains that weight stigma “frames larger bodies as a problem and tells people that they need to shrink themselves in order to be okay, which is the very definition of weight stigma.”

Virgie Tovar, an activist, author and one of the nation’s leading experts and lecturers on fat discrimination and body image, explains how weight bias affects us all through what she describes as three levels of weight stigma: intrapersonal, interpersonal and institutional.

Intrapersonal is how much you internalize the negative stereotypes about weight.

“The fact that we pretty much all have some level of intrapersonal weight stigma in our society is one of the hallmarks of living in diet culture,” Tovar says.

Second, interpersonal weight stigma is how you are treated based solely on weight or size — such as body shaming or bullying.

Lastly, institutional fat phobia describes how larger bodies are marginalized in society. For example, if you go to buy a ski jacket and the only color in your size is black or you have to buy a men’s jacket.

Weight stigma makes it difficult to like your body unless you are “lucky” enough to be one of the 5% of women who naturally possess the “ideal” body type. And even many of those women live in fear of weight gain.

Furthermore, evidence-based research shows that not only is weight stigma harmful to our body image, but feeling bad about our bodies is affecting our health, regardless of body size.

“I Think Therefore I Am: Perceived Ideal Weight as a Determinant of Health,” a 2008 study published in the American Journal of Public Health, found that the larger the difference between people’s current weight and their perceived “ideal” weight, the more mental and physical health problems they’d had in the past month, regardless of their body mass index. The study included 170,000 people of a variety of races, education levels and ages.

One major reason weight stigma is so harmful is that it’s so darn stressful for everybody, but especially for those living in larger bodies.

“Stress hormones … can have damaging effects on both physical and mental if they are secreted over a longer period of time called allostatic load,” writes David Levitin in his article “The Neuroscience Behind Why We Feel Stressed — and What to Do About It.”

That leads to a dysregulation in critical body systems — including the immune, digestive, cognitive, reproductive systems — and creates cardiac and mental health problems.

A 2018 study found that “perceived weight discrimination doubles the 10-year risk of high allostatic load. Eliminating weight stigma may reduce physiological dysregulation, improving obesity-related morbidity and mortality.”

Research by Harrison — the “Anti-Diet” author — comes to the same conclusion: “Weight stigma has been linked to an increased risk of mental-health conditions such as disordered eating, emotional distress, negative body image, low self-esteem and depression.”

If you’ve felt “so much better” after weight loss — especially after living in a larger body — could it be the result of no longer experiencing weight stigma and not necessarily the weight loss itself? It’s a question Bruce has asked.

So, ladies, here’s my shout-out to help you like your body: Don’t buy into diet culture’s weight stigmatizing. I’ll stand with you.

I’d also like to leave you with words of wisdom from poet Hollie Holden:

Today I asked my body what she needed,

Which is a big deal

Considering my journey of

Not Really Asking That Much.

I thought she might need more water.

Or protein.

Or greens.

Or yoga.

Or supplements.

Or movement.

But as I stood in the shower

Reflecting on her stretch marks,

Her roundness where I would like flatness,

Her softness where I would like firmness,

All those conditioned wishes

That form a bundle of

Never-Quite-Right-Ness,

She whispered very gently:

Could you just love me like this?

(This article was published in the Jackson Hole News and Guide, February 5, 2020 edition).

Social Media Body Positive Feeds to Follow

Support a healthy body image by following these body positive social media feeds. Fill your feed with realistic and positive images of bodies and health.

The messages that you see and hear everyday matter and influence how you feel about your own human body.

Pick the ones that speak to you and resonate with you and make YOU feel good, now.

BEAUTY REDEFINED

Twins, Lexie Kite, PhD and Lindsay Kite, PhD have become leading experts in the work of body image resilience through research-backed online education available on their website, social media, and through speaking events to tens of thousands across the US. Beauty Redefined changes the conversation about body image by telling girls and women they are more than beautiful. Lexie and Lindsay assert positive body image is about feeling positively toward your body overall, not just what it looks like. Check out their book More Than a Body.

THE BODY POSITIVE

The Body Positive is a nonprofit organization that teaches people to listen to their bodies, learn and thrive. Our ultimate goal is to end the harmful consequences of negative body image: eating disorders, depression, anxiety, cutting, suicide, substance abuse, and relationship violence. Check out Connie Sobczak, co-founder of The Body Positive’s book Embody.

CHRISSY KING

From author and Instagram personality Chrissy King, an exciting, genre-redefining narrative mix of memoir, inspiration, and specific exercises and prompts, with timely messages about social and racial justice, and how the world needs to move beyond body positivity to something even more exciting and revolutionary—body liberation. Check out Chrissy’s book The Body Liberation Project.

THE EMBRACE MOVEMENT

Started by founder Taryn Brumfitt, the Body Image Movement (BIM) is on a mission to change the belief that your body is not an ornament, it’s the vehicle to your dreams. BIM is on a quest to end the global body-hating epidemic and believes that everyone has the right to love and embrace their body, regardless of shape, size, ethnicity and ability.

AMY PENCE-BROWN

Amy Pence-Brown is a fat feminist mother, writer, artist and body image activist for the past nine years who became internationally know for her radical stand for self-love at the Capitol City Public Market on August 29, 2015, in Boise, Idaho, which was documented in a blog post, photographs and a video viewed over 200 million times. Her message about the value of all bodies no matter what their size, has been covered by numerous media outlets, including CNN, USA Today, Cosmopolitan, People, TODAY, Huffington Post, Upworthy, HLN, the Dr. Oz Show, SHAPE, xo Jane and Fitness magazine. Amy’s radical stand for self-love is the inspiration for my column Radical Acceptance, in the Jackson Hole News and Guide, which focuses on promoting positive body image and redefining health.

SUMMER INNANEN

Summer is a Body Image Coach, author of Body Image Remix and host of one of my favorite podcasts, Eat The Rules which is dedicated to body image, body positivity, self-worth, anti-dieting and feminism.

ASHLEE BENNETT

Ashlee is a body image therapist whose mission is to help you develop a healing relationship with your body, which involves mental, emotional, physical, social and spiritual domains of life.

SONYA RENEE TAYLOR

NYT Bestselling Author & founder of The Body is Not An Apology committed to radical self-love as a path to liberation.

DR. COLLEEN REICHMANN

Colleen is a licensed clinical psychologist, eating disorders specialist, and body positive activist.

CENTER4BODYTRUST

Confronting a weight and health-obsessed world, Hilary Kinavey, MS, LPC and Dana Sturtevant, MS, RD are a therapist-dietitian team who’ve been co-creating their Body Trust approach for over 17 years. Body Trust is scientifically grounded and greatly informed by social justice movements, liberatory frameworks, and embodiment theory. Like to read? Check out their book Reclaiming Body Trust.

TANYA MARK

Last but not least! My social media pages share positive messages about non diet nutrition, body image, intuitive eating and eating psychology to help you make peace with food and your body (and if you haven’t read my FREE GUIDE yet, you can grab it here).

Have a favorite body positive social media account that you love and would like to share it with me? I’d love to hear from you!

  • Tanya

Are You On A High Fact “Diet”?

The High-Fact Diet

Do you ever feel burdened by the fact that you know so much about nutrition? This is what is called a “high-fact diet”.

Many of us are almost too well educated about what we eat, and this is actually creating stress in our bodies. And yes, I am speaking from personal experience. If we overthink every morsel we eat, we can be causing more harm than good.

Knowledge can nourish us. It can open our minds and make us feel empowered. But as with anything we consume, it’s possible to have too much of a good thing. (Source)

Take me for example…

There are these peanut butter crackers. I love them. They’re just so delicious! BUT they have high fructose corn syrup in them. I used to eat them occasionally and really enjoyed them. However, when I learned how to read nutrition labels and learned that HFCS is “bad”, I started to avoid them altogether.

One day while I was still in nutrition school, I went on long hike in the middle of nowhere and didn’t bring enough snacks. I was, however, near a gas station where I saw my beloved peanut butter crackers. I was starving, and they were taunting me. But I got so stressed about eating a package that after devouring them, I was consumed by guilt because I knowingly ate something that wasn’t health promoting.

I believed the saying “you are what you eat” and so I believed that I was choosing to “poison” myself with HFCS. Of course, I now know that this is ridiculous. But when your mind is full of nutrition facts about how certain foods affect you, you begin to believe that you shouldn’t ever have these foods.

I can’t stress this enough – all foods can fit into a healthy diet.

We Don’t Need to be Perfect

No matter what the media or your nutritionist says (as I used to practice this way), we don’t need to be “perfect” eaters. Today, I focus on eating healthy foods for the most part – but I no longer categorize foods as either good or bad. I am more aware of how I am nourished by how I am living my whole life.

Right now, I am on vacation with my sister’s family and their three kids. I eat what I am served. Period. I am relaxed. I don’t have to cook. Instead, I focus on the joy of being around my family. I am nourished by far more than the food. Our metabolisms are fired up by more than what we eat. It’s also affected by what we think and how we feel about our food (and life).

If you missed my blog post about how your mindset affects your metabolism, you can check it out here.

Do You Have a High-Fact Diet?

  • So, how do you look at ______? (Insert your gas station peanut butter crackers equivalent.)
  • Can you eat _______ without a side of guilt or self-judgement?

Your answer to this question will tell you whether or not you’re living a high-fact “diet.”

If you are indeed way too knowledgable to approach your plate without guilt, then please – breathe. Take that weight off your shoulders.

Nutrition facts are everywhere (and my head is full of them) but we need to remember what we’re not reading on the internet and magazines, and hearing on podcasts and other media. There are many people who have less healthy food and exercise habits but somehow avoid getting diseases and live to ripe old ages. How is this possible? Our metabolisms and health are affected by far more than what we put in our mouths.

Eating healthy food is wonderful and is part of good health. But what you eat doesn’t define your whole health. Notice if you’re on a high fact diet and how it’s affecting the health of your mind and spirit.

Need some support in becoming a more relaxed, flexible healthy eater? I would love to chat!

  • Tanya

Stress Relief Tips to Stop Living Life Like It’s an Emergency

Could you use some stress relief tips to rest, recover and relax?

I once was in urgent need of slowing down too.

I had an ah-ha moment at the grocery store one day while I was rushing around like a madwoman. Out of nowhere, I had this moment of clarity and said to myself, “What am I doing!?” I couldn’t believe the tizzy I was in! I thought, “If I just slowed down and it took me one extra minute to get from the parking lot to the produce section, what effect could that have on my overall well-being?”

You see I had been stuck in this chronic cycle of “there’s not enough time.”

From the moment I woke up in the morning to the time I finally calmed down and got to bed, I never stopped living life like an emergency. And I could feel the nasty effects throughout my entire body. I was irritable and burnout.

We all need downtime to let our bodies and minds rest and heal from all the stress we experience daily. Low-level stress accumulates in our bodies over time and compounds to become dis-ease.

So, what can you do about it?

How do you start to slow down and create that sense of “presence” your body and mind needs?

Build in breaks to relieve stress.

Stress relief tips to build stress resilience

1. Create a morning relaxation break

The ultimate game-changer for me was learning to set my mornings up for success.

How you start your day sets the tone for the rest of your day.

Before you get ready for your day, try taking 5 minutes to yourself.

During that short period of time, do some deep breathing, listen to gentle music, or repeat an uplifting mantra. Any of these simple activities will help set the tone of your day.

Are you thinking, “But I don’t have time in the morning for that?”  I hear you. I felt the same way. But then I realized that my poor relationship with time was keeping me stuck in a vicious stress cycle.

What helped me conquer my morning frenzy was going to bed and getting up an extra 15 minutes early.

2. Go to bed 15 minutes earlier to relieve stress

In order to make that happen, I needed to reverse engineer a positive start to my day by going to bed earlier.

Just 15 minutes. That’s not much right? But it can make a huge impact on your day. By getting up 15 minutes early, I was able to have some vital me-time that helped me feel grounded and centered, instead of rushed and stressed out.

Try setting a reminder on your phone to “wind down” to prepare for bed earlier.

And once these two habits become an established part of your routine, then try adding in a mid-day mini breaks to prevent stress from building up…and overflowing.

3. Add in mid-day stress relief breaks

If you sit at a computer day-in, day-out, try setting a timer every 25 minutes.

When that timer goes off, take 5 minutes to stand up, stretch, drink some water, close your office door and listen to some relaxing music and/or take a walk around the building, or get outside and breathe in some fresh air.

Practice these three stress relief tips and take breaks throughout you day for some “me-time” to stop chronic stress in its tracks, and help ward off future dis-ease.

  • Tanya

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